I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
