woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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