this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
