Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize