She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
