That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hippo gnu deer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
