but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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