Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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