I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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