So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
