I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
