when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
