I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
