Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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