Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
