just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
