my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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