Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
