Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
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