We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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