all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
