why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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