...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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