Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
