He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
