How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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