talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
