found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh god it's open bar.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
