I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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