we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
