Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
