laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
