Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
