WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
