Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
