You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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