in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
