I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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