she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize