took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
