5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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