the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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