How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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