hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize