My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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