Are we in a gay sports bar?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
