halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ok first of all what the fuck
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
