i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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