U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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