you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
