Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
