i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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