Its about making memories worth repressing
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
