He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
50% drunk capacity currently
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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