HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
