She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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