someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
