I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize