Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
