Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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