Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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